Now to the point of the matter. Granted, your facial hair is not the worst. This is the worst. (See right.) However, "Not the worst" does NOT equal "good," or even "ok." Now, I may or may not be alone in my opinion concerning the growth of your facial hair; some may like it, others, like myself do not. I do do know for a fact however, that John Paul loves it. You can take that however you will. Look at his facial hair, look at mine, then look at yours. Whose opinion can you trust?I know what you're thinking, "I know; I'll just ask a woman what she thinks!" Wrong. Worst idea ever. See, here's the thing, women don't know anything. Concerning facial hair. A lot of those weirdies you see running around with crappy, crappy facial hair may have a woman and, truth be told, their woman may approve of their ugly man's terrible life choice. Heaven forbid we take that as a sign that this is in any way appropriate behavior.
Also, when I voice my disdain for your facial hair, I want you to know that I really just disapprove of the mustache. The rest is fine; grow that out to your heart's content. That doesn't go for Shia LeBouf, by the way. That guy needs to shave and stay that way. You, however, are big and manly and just ooze masculinity, much in the way that I do. Facial hair on you is a good thing. Not mustache hairs, though.
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| YOU |
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| WHAT YOU WILL LOOK LIKE |
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| WHAT A MAN WITH A MUSTACHE SHOULD LOOK LIKE |
Look back and forth between these photos and perhaps you will come to realize that what I say is the truth. No mustache for Andrew. Anybody out there that agrees or disagrees with me, let Andrew or me know. By the way, Andrew, I luh you!
When you say that's "what a man with a mustache should look like", are you referring to Tom Selleck or naked?
ReplyDeleteHM. I wake up this morning and this is what I find? Dear Thomas, I am crushed and hurt and generally just displeased at how you have chosen to display your distaste of my mustache to me. Should you have come to me in private, pleading your case with apologetics and logic, then maybe I might be inclined to shave the beast on a regular basis. But now that you have chosen to release your argument on a public forum, I will publicly form my rebuttal here on your blog.
ReplyDeleteThe mustache stays. You can't grow a beard out and not have a mustache with it, because then it's not a beard. I like my mustache and so do a lot of other people, but most importantly, I like my mustache. It stays.
Brandon, both. A man with a mustache should be Tom Selleck, naked.
ReplyDeleteAnd Andrew, I cannot count the times I have told you in private. You, sir, a stubborn man. I can't tell you what to do with your life, but I can try and persuade you using logic and reasoning. Apologetics, no. But logic, most certainly.
Hmm, I feel like there should be a Peter themed blog post lol
ReplyDeleteI try to stray away from Peter-themed blogs for content reasons. You know what you are, sir.
ReplyDeleteHi Tommy. Here is my opinion: mustaches are generally a bad decision for anyone under 50 (and for all women regardless of age). However, a goatee, which includes the mustache, can look quite dashing on the right man (I think you know to whom I am referring). This style of facial hair might become your friend Andrew whilst allowing him to keep his mustache. I will point out that the mustache and the beard really should "connect." If they don't, a soul patch might be a better way to go. Or the perpetual 5 o'clock shadow - always stubbly, but not really enough to be called a beard. Kinda like Jason Statham. Of course, if your friend were kinda like Jason Statham, you probably wouldn't be telling him what to do.
ReplyDeleteAlso, Captain Jack Sparrow is way cool. If your friend Andrew looked like him, that would also be way cool. I don't see the deterrent effect here.
ReplyDeletePlus also, I just learned that a goatee is just a little chin beard. The correct term is actually "Door Knocker"! Or the more mundane "Circle Beard."
ReplyDeleteOne more thing (imagine Uncle's accent) - you have had lame, crappy ideas that you acted on. Remember your mullet?
ReplyDeleteShut up, Sam.
ReplyDeleteI missed my miniature blog so here it goes.
ReplyDelete#1. Tommy chilax, though Andrew's mustache is not as cool as Tom Selleck, my dad's, or your dad's it is cool in its own way. Like Captain Hammer says everyone's a hero in their own way.
#2. I hate troll's I'm sure you would all agree with this. My logic is that unlike a sphynx if you outsmart a troll the troll just starts to whine and cry.
#3. I can't actually think of a third point, I just was always told that when making an argument to use 3 points.
Anyways thats it for today. "You stay classy San-Diego."
Don't be talkin' bad 'bout Tommy's mullet. That sucker was, quite frankly, legen-wait for it...dary. Whilst Tommy had a mullet, he was a big ol' daddy to the highest degree imaginable, perhaps even more so. Something along the lines of a "bigodaddy-fivetimes". At any rate, my point is that Tommy should, indeed, grow another mullet.
ReplyDeleteBob, no.
ReplyDelete